10 ways to sabotage the first meeting

Some helpful tips that will guarantee the person you are meeting will not want to see you again.

1. Don’t bother to dress properly. Come as you are. Shouldn’t the person accept you as you are?  Surely you would be happy to also meet someone who rolls up in their daggy house clothes.
2. Monopolise the conversation. Don’t bother asking the person anything about themselves to give them the opportunity to relax and come out of their shell. Why would you want to find out what their personality is like? Surely they cannot be as interesting as you. Tell them all about you and how great you are.
3. Tell them all about your past relationships. Tell them all about your past partners and why it didn’t work out. For extra turn-off points, really run down your ex and any other women you have met.
4. Comment on her appearance. Tell her you think she is hot/sexy. This is inappropriate and will make her feel super uncomfortable, so has a high turn-off factor.
5. Start telling them all about the sort of relationship you are looking for and ask them what they are looking for. Double points for asking them if they will move in with you. Triple points for asking if they want a sexual relationship.
6. Ask her what the agency told her about you. This has both a high creep factor and a high narcissism factor. Double points!
7. Go the grope. Touch her on hand or the knee. Try to give her a kiss or even a hug. When she recoils or says no, sulk. (Being serious, this is satire! You should never, ever do this, even if you really don’t want to see the person again!)
8. Complain. Let it rip. Why not?? Complain about your job, your kids, your neighbours. For extra points complain about the agency or complain about how far you had to travel to meet them. This is particularly effective because you are basically complaining to the person about themselves. This has extra strong insult-o-power.
9. Ask them how long they have been with the agency, how much they paid and how many other people they have been out with. After all, it’s your right to sit in judgement of others. Also tell her how long you have been with the agency, how much you have paid and who else you have met. Who cares if she doesn’t want to know. For extra points, run down the other people you have been introduced to.  Running down other women is a dead set guaranteed move to make sure a woman won’t see you again.
10. Don’t bother to ask her on a date.  Tell her if she wants to go out again she has your number.  This will show her that you are not prepared to put any effort into courting her, so you can be assured, she will never call.

OK, so I’ll say again, this is satire. These are 10 things you never, ever want to do.  Self-reflection is always unpleasant but it’s definitely worthwhile to make sure you are not guilty of any of these behaviours. I didn’t make them up, they are all based on feedback I have received from people post first meetup.