Does compatibility exist?

Meaning of compatible in English:

adjective

compatible

“able to exist, live, or work successfully with something or someone else.”

I regularly get feedback from people telling me that the person they met was ‘not compatible” and hence they would not be seeing each other again. This absolutely stumps me. How on earth you could determine if you are “able to exist, live, or work successfully with something or someone else” after a 30 minute coffee meet is beyond me.

So that means one of 2 things:

1. You didn’t have any chemistry. Which is fine. That’s what you are there to determine. If there is no chemistry, compatibility is irrelevant. If this is the case, that is fine, let’s move on to the next match.
2. You attempted to plan your life with someone you have known for half an hour and, unsurprisingly, you discovered they are not a mirror image of you or a cookie cutter replacement for your past partner.  If this is the case, all is not fine and you’ve sabotaged something that could have been great.

Compatibility between things is quick and easy to determine. You’ll soon find out if the spare part, ink cartridge or coffee pod is compatible with your existing equipment.  Either it will work or it won’t.

People are different. You can’t just insert the person into your life and press go.

The purpose of the first meetup is to determine if you have any attraction and if you enjoy each others company. That’s it.

Compatibility between two people needs to be made. You need to spend time with someone to determine whether you are likely to be able to coexist, and to see if you would even want to!

Sure, some people have an easier start of things because they find they agree on a lot of things and have similar interests. None of this means that you will end up as more than friends though. And those things are certainly not a necessity for a successful relationship. Mutual respect and the acknowledgement that the two of you are individuals with different life experiences who have actively chosen to be together, creates the environment for compatibility. 

Every person is different and every relationship is different. The relationship you have in the future will not be the same what you had in the past. The things the two of you enjoy doing together may be different than the things you enjoyed doing before. The world is full of possibilities and a new partner opens you up to a whole range of new experiences. Enjoy!